Superfluously Duplicitous
by Mouko
Summary: Life hasn't been easy for Yugi since he became world famous. How can being king of a card game draw so many crazy people after him anyway? Including a girl who looks strikingly like a certain Pharaoh with...another Millennium Puzzle? BoobiesxFace OTP


The skies were clear above Domino High, a soft blue with the occasional white puff of a cloud passing by. Birds fluttered about in the trees, attempting to make their song heard above the dull hum of students leaving the school once their day had been completed.

Hundreds of students left the building, some on their way home while others heading towards club activities. They talked hurriedly among each other as they made their way to their destination, enjoying the beautiful day.

"Yugi!" Anzu waved her right hand eagerly as she rushed through the crowds, wearing her school uniform and swinging her briefcase with each step. "Yugi, wait for me!"

At the sound of his friend's call Yugi immediately stopped to turn towards Anzu. "Anzu!" he replied, both happy and curious at the same time. "I thought you had a student council meeting today."

Anzu smiled as she came to a stop by Yugi, moving her briefcase around front so that she could hold it with both hands. "So did I, but when I got there, the place was deserted. I saw a note saying that the meeting had been canceled due to 'an infestation', but I have no idea what that was talking about," the teenaged girl explained as she made a face. "I waited for a few minutes but no one showed up, so I decided I may as well leave too."

"An infestation?" Katsuya repeated as he looked curiously back at Anzu with his book bag slung over one shoulder. "Did the mice in the science lab escape again or somethin'?"

"I don't know," Anzu answered truthfully as she walked with her friends. "I can't get anyone to give me a straight answer."

"That's probably because they're _embarrassed_ of the answer," Hiroto observed. "Like they're radioactive or something!"

"Or maybe they're plannin' on catchin' 'em and serving them to us for lunch," Katsuya commented teasingly as he made a pantomime of mashing something between his hands. His expression then changed as something dawned on him and he looked to the others. "Oh yeah, that reminds me, how's Burger World sound to you guys?"

Yugi couldn't help but chuckle softly at Katsuya and Hiroto's banter before he looked back at Anzu. "We were just about to go get something to eat," he explained.

"So long as they stop talking about cooking mice!" Anzu made a face, looking relatively grossed out.

"I guess it brings back bad memories from working at Burger World, huh?" Hiroto laughed.

Anzu turned to scowl at the arrow-haired boy.

"Who said we're still talkin' 'bout mice?" Katsuya asked teasingly with a wide sly smile on his face.

Yugi was torn between amusement and disgust at the suggestion of what the cafeteria or fast food restaurants might be serving them. "Come on guys, maybe we should...," he began, but a sudden high pitched squeal not only served to interrupt him but caused him to cringe instinctively.

"_Yugiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii_!" came the overly enthusiastic screech of a girl rushing towards the group. This girl wasn't just any girl, however. This girl was absolutely stunning and effortlessly drew the attention of everyone around her, and it wasn't just because she was flailing her arms and shrieking at the top of her lungs while streaking through the school yard.

This mysterious girl had long hair, though it was hard to tell exactly how long, as it was in the most unusual style anyone had ever seen. Shockingly enough, at first glance the girl seemed to sport the exact hairstyle that Yugi himself sported, but as she got closer the differences made themselves more apparent. Though she had long blonde bangs like Yugi, she had streaks of bleached blonde hair through out her black hair, which seemed to have been dyed red at the tips. Her hair didn't bend in the breeze as she ran, so it was obvious that she must have used gobs and gobs of hair products to keep it as stiff as plywood. A ponytail bobbed behind her that had been spared of the gel until about a foot before the end, and then it was formed into a strange looking star shape. It was dyed red at the tips there as well with streaks of yellow to white hair all through out that looked as if she had used too much bleach when making them.

The second most noticeable thing about this girl was what looked to be none other than the Millennium Puzzle attached to a gold-plated chain dangling from her neck. However, upon closer inspection it too was different than the genuine article. Instead of the distinctive eye design that all Millennium Items possessed, this golden upside-down pyramid had a large heart surrounded by the outline of a star.

Once one looked past these two things they were able to notice other details that the girl possessed to make her stand out. Her wide eyes were bright purple and reflected the sunlight to sparkle unnaturally. One unfortunate student she passed happened get hit in the face with the glare from what were obviously a strange form of contact lenses and screamed that he had gone blind.

In comparison, the other strange things about this girl seemed downright trivial. She was noticeably taller than 180 centimeters, though it was hard to tell for sure by how much considering her hairstyle, which made her taller than most of the students she passed by. She also possessed a pair of large breasts that jutted through a black leather shirt, bouncing liberally with each step, which made it seem as if she had forgotten to wear a bra that day. This fact alone was enough to draw the eye of most of the male students. Though she wore a uniform that looked quite similar to those that Domino High students wore, specifically the male half, she certainly was not a student. However, the way that she had tied her jacket over her shoulders and added a lot of belts, bracelets, and other accessories liberally to it seemed hauntingly familiar, if overdone.

Yugi was so utterly dumbstruck by the girl's appearance that he didn't think to move until he had been blinded by the glare of her reflective contact lenses once she got within arm's reach of him. He cried out and tried to cover his eyes to shield them from the intense sparkle, but was prevented when the person who looked like a highly eccentric version of Atemu after a radical sex change grabbed him and forced him into a rather tight bear hug.

"Oh Yugi, my love, I've finally found you!" the girl squealed with excitement before giggling in an almost demented fashion. "Your one and only true love and soul mate has finally come to be with you forever and ever and ever!"

Yugi would have tried to protest if he wasn't currently being suffocated by the apparently crazy girl's large breasts.

"Damn." was all Katsuya could think to say as he stared, dumbfounded.

Anzu's cheek twitched before she moved closer, her expression rather bland. "_Excuse_ me, but you're suffocating him."

"What a way to go, huh?" Hiroto blinked.

The mysterious girl completely ignored the fact that Yugi was struggling to get away from her, as her grip seemed to be like steel, forcing him to remain lodged in her cleavage. Instead she turned to shoot Anzu a harsh glare. Fortunately, because her eyes were halfway closed and she was facing away from the sun, her reflective contact lenses lost their blinding effect.

"I knew it!" she exclaimed before abruptly letting go of Yugi, who fell backwards onto the ground, dazed, blushing, and gasping for air. She pointed accusingly at Anzu, the tip of her finger nearly touching the dancer's nose. "I _knew_ that there was an evil witch keeping my beloved Yugi away from me! Don't interfere you... you... whore! Yugi is my soul mate! Not yours!"

Anzu blinked at the girl, arching an eyebrow. However, instead of responding, she turned towards Yugi, leaning down to help him up to his feet. "Are you okay, Yugi?"

"Whoa, hey," Hiroto scowled. "Don't talk to Anzu like that. That's not cool."

The girl ignored Hiroto completely and lashed out to suddenly kick Anzu as hard as she could. "_Get away from my man, you slut!_" she shrieked when her foot impacted solidly.

However, what the girl hit wasn't any part of Anzu, but Katsuya's left leg, which he had suddenly stuck out to take the blow instead. Though the kick stung and made him grit his teeth, he was used to brawling and being battered around enough that it didn't send him to the ground, though he tried not to put too much weight on it.

The girl simply stared stupidly at Katsuya before pointing accusingly at him. "Hey!" she shouted. "You're not supposed to defend the bitch! You're supposed to be helping me beat her up!"

"Oi," Katsuya said through gritted teeth as he stood between the apparently psychotic girl and his friends, glaring at her. "I don't like fightin' girls, and I don't care what your problem is with Anzu, but if you try that again...." He let the sentence trail off and the subtle threat hang in the air. Truthfully he hoped that the girl would have more common sense than to pursue further violence, as the idea of hurting a girl made him feel sick. However, if it was to protect his friends, he was willing to make an exception.

Anzu turned to stare at the girl as it slowly sunk in that the girl had tried to _attack_ her. She gaped at the girl with wide eyes, feeling rather unnerved. "I've never even done anything to you! What's the matter with you!?"

"She's psycho, that's what," Hiroto moved to stand next to Katsuya, cracking his knuckles as he glared at the girl. "This is your last warning. Play nice or get lost."

"What?" the apparently crazy girl gasped, looking quite shocked, as her obnoxiously purple-colored eyes widened. "But she's an evil whore trying to seduce my Yugikins with her wicked slutty ways!" She pointed at Anzu for emphasis. "Just look at what she's wearing!"

"Same thing every other girl here but you's wearin'!" Katsuya retorted with a hard glare. "Ever hear of somethin' called a 'school uniform'?"

The girl seemed to decide to ignore Katsuya at that point and looked at Yugi, who was now standing thanks to Anzu's help and staring at her with his mouth open ever so slightly due to how taken back he was. "Yugi sweetie, it's me, Sugi Kaibō!" she proclaimed as she held her hands over her massive chest. It was hard to tell if she meant to cause them to bounce noticeably due to the action. "I'm your one and only true love!"

Sugi sighed dejectedly before he could respond then jutted out her lower lip to pout. "If this is about Seto Kaiba, that isn't my fault!" she protested. "He's a sexy incubus who's trying to seduce me away from you with his hot studly body full of delicious man sex. I can't help it if he wants me bad. Even if I might look his way and have posters of him in my room, that's only because he's got evil seducing powers, like that witch standing next to you, Achoo!" She made a wild gesture in Anzu's direction.

"...You really are crazy," Anzu muttered as she eyed the girl uncomfortably. She was considerably unnerved by the way the girl was trash talking her; Anzu was the class representative, so while she was used to a little resentment from those she had beaten for the position, she was actually fairly popular. Or at the very least, no one disliked her openly. To be faced with someone she never met who hated her with such intensity, it was rather overwhelming. "And... isn't Kaiba... sort of asexual? I mean, it at least seems that way..."

"Yeah, no kidding," Hiroto snorted. "Besides, this is the first time we've met you. And to be honest, it's not a good impression."

Katsuya had the most peculiar expression on his face as he stared at the girl. "Kaiba... _sexy_? Seduce _you?_" he repeated, having difficulty with the very concept. His body started to shake as his cheeks puffed out, but try as he might he couldn't hold back the uproarious laughter that burst forth at the very notion. His mirth only ended when he bent forward to slap his knee due to how ridiculous the very thought was and accidentally struck the bruise Sugi gave him, causing him to yelp and jerk slightly.

"Stop laughing at me!" Sugi protested as she jut out her lower lip further and puffed out her cheeks, which made her somewhat resemble a monkey.

Katsuya couldn't help himself and burst out laughing again at the face the psychotic girl made.

"Stop laughing at me!" Sugi snarled. "You're supposed to be laughing at that girl, Abu, when I beat her sorry ass for trying to get into my Yugi snuggle bunny's pants! Those cute buns are _mine_ to fondle, not hers!"

Yugi, who had been in a state of dumbfounded shock since his face was shoved into Sugi's cleavage and nearly suffocated, not to mention temporarily blinded, finally came to his senses at this point. "I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I don't know you," he said diplomatically, even though he was very upset at the insults she was flinging at Anzu and the attack that she had made minutes ago. However, he had enough fans clamor after him since the Battle City tournament to know that he needed to be firm but polite in trying to get them to leave him and his friends alone if he was unable to avoid the crazy people who came after him. "Please don't hurt or insult any of my friends again, Miss Kaibō. I won't like you if you do."

"That's right, this is the first time any of us has met you," Anzu agreed. "You can't just claim you love someone you've never met. That completely defies the very definition of love! And... and you must truly not know Seto Kaiba either, if you call _him_ an incubus."

Sugi let out a pathetic whimper as she looked in Yugi's direction, seemingly near tears. However, that changed within the span of a heartbeat and she glared murderously at Anzu. "This is all _your_ fault!" she shrieked as she pointed wildly at Anzu while flailing her free hand in the air, which was clenched into a fist. "You're trying to turn my baby Yugi against me with your bitchy trampy ways! I saw you with your hands all over him! Just go away someplace and die a horrible, slow, painful death and leave me and my Yugi alone!"

Yugi was starting to feel rather concerned for Anzu's safety at this point, even with Katsuya and Hiroto providing a protective buffer between them. Instinctively he stood closer to Anzu, wanting to protect her too by both shielding her and getting her away from this potential threat this crazy girl presented. "Anzu, I don't think it's safe for you to stay around this girl," he whispered, obviously concerned, as he kept the earlier attack in mind. "You need to get out of here."

Anzu nodded to Yugi, though she kept glancing uncomfortably at Sugi. "But I'm worried about you too, Yugi. She already tried to suffocate you. I... don't know how far she'd go-!"

"Hey!" Sugi protested, her nostrils flaring in anger. "Get away from my Yugi honey, you slut factory! Don't you dare feed him lies that I prefer Seto Kaiba over him! Yugi is my number one ultimate soul mate forever and ever and not even the sexiest incubus with the hottest behind, most muscular body, yummiest shirt that shows all the muscles, and has the most intense, piercing blue eyes that stare deep within your soul and leave you quaking in the knees ready to melt at the slightest moment...." She trailed off, her eyes glazing over, as her gaze grew distant and a small amount of drool leaked out of the corner of her mouth.

"Well, speak of the 'incubus'," Hiroto muttered as he arched an eyebrow. "Look who's gracing us with his presence."

It seemed the most impeccable timing, as Seto Kaiba left the school building and walked across the grounds towards his awaiting black limousine, parked alongside the sidewalk. He had one hand carrying his briefcase, while the other held a particularly large book to his face. He walked straight towards the limousine, reading the book and not bothering to watch where he was going.

After all, people were expected to get out of Seto Kaiba's way - and they did, automatically.

Katsuya couldn't help but grin slyly as a particularly wicked idea came to him. "Yo, crazy chick, there's Kaiba over there," he said as he pointed in the young CEO's direction. "Why don't you go tell him off if he's wreckin' things for ya?"

It took about five seconds for Sugi to snap out of her daydream to realize she had been spoken to. "Seto beefcake Kaiba is here?" she gasped before whirling around to see that, indeed, Seto Kaiba was nearby. For a number of moments she looked back and forth between Seto, Yugi, and Anzu, obviously warring with what to do. Finally she scowled at Anzu. "If you touch my spiffy Yugi I'll sick rabid dogs after you, slut!" She then looked at Yugi with a sugary sweet smile as she batted her eyelashes. "I'll be riiiiiight back Yugi-pie. I just gotta go tell off that evil incubus Seto Kaiba to stop trying to seduce me away from you!"

Without waiting for a reply Sugi hurried off after Seto.

"...She's insane," Hiroto grunted. "Absolutely insane."

Anzu shifted uncomfortably before turning to Yugi. "Should we go before she comes back?" Yugi nodded, as he cast an especially troubled glance in the direction of where Sugi was charging after Seto.

"Are you kiddin'?" Katsuya asked as a wide grin appeared on his face. "There's no way I'm gonna miss _this!_"

Meanwhile, Seto continued onward towards his limousine. He didn't even look up from his book as he walked right past Sugi, as if she wasn't even approaching him. One of his bodyguards opened the door for Seto, waiting expectantly as the CEO approached.

"Seeeeeeeeeeeetoooooooooooo_!_" Sugi squealed in a high-pitched tone, similar to the one she used when she first called out for Yugi. She waved vigorously as she ran towards Seto, pushing her way past a few students and accidentally blinding yet another unfortunate person with her reflective contact lenses.

Seto didn't even look up as he continued towards the limousine. He either didn't hear or see the girl, which was quite impossible, or he simply didn't _care_.

Sugi seemed surprised that Seto couldn't hear her and she ran even faster to try and cut the young chairman off from entering his limo. "Seto!" she snapped before jutting out her lower lip to pout as she put her hands on her hips. "Don't you ignore me! You... you... why do you have to act so smug when you _know_ what you're doing to me, you big meanie!"

Seto came to a stop and lowered his book ever so slightly, so that his piercing blue eyes could be seen. "Get out of my way."

"Not until you admit to everyone that you're trying to seduce me away from my Yugi bear!" Sugi retorted, either oblivious to the look Seto gave her or somehow resistant to it. Again she pouted, her expression not unlike a monkey's.

Seto arched an eyebrow at that. "Hmph. Yugi may have poor taste, but I certainly don't."

"Just what's _that_ supposed to mean?" Sugi demanded as she flailed her arms in the air, as if to emphasize the fact that she was upset.

"You are wasting my time," Seto retorted icily as he continued to hold the book up. The CEO's bodyguards watched the exchange intently, leaving the limousine to be on the ready should their boss need their assistance. "You're insignificant."

"_INSIGNIFICANT?_" Sugi screeched in outrage before stomping closer to Seto to glare at him eye to eye, being tall enough to do so. "Listen here you perverted jerk! Don't you _dare_ call me _insignificant_ after everything you've put me and my Yugi sweetie through with your perverted seducing incubusy ways!"

Seto regarded Sugi as if she were a little barking dog, the expression very similar to the one he gave Katsuya on a regular basis. "Clearly, you need a higher dose of medication. I suggest you talk to your doctor about it. However deep your mental instability is, I am not required to cater to it. You are completely insignificant in every single way possible, making you beneath even that luckless dog that follows Yugi around. Now, get out of my way. I won't tell you again."

"...Huh?" Sugi blinked and stared blankly at Seto, as if she had no idea what he was talking about. "...H-hey! Don't try to change the subject, you jerk!"

The young CEO blinked slowly before sighing with exasperation. "The fact that you are unable to comprehend what I'm saying proves your insignificance. However, I'm sure that even with your low intelligence, you can comprehend that you are not wanted."

"Oh... oh yeah?" Sugi scowled, feeling the need to make a retort even though she wasn't sure what Seto was talking about. "Well you're just a big _pervert!_"

Seto rolled his eyes. "You're tempting my patience, dog."

"Hey! Don't call me dog, you jackass!" Sugi shouted before she attempted to poke the irritated CEO in the chest.

The bodyguards saw the movement and began to move forward, as if to intervene. However, neither Sugi nor the CEO's bodyguards managed to get very far before Seto Kaiba responded.

Still holding his book in one hand, the young corporate chairman dropped his briefcase and grabbed Sugi's hand before jerking it about. The girl spun about helplessly before Seto jerked her arm roughly upwards, twisting it up behind Sugi's back. "When I tell you to move, I expect you to move. Dog."

With that, Seto threw Sugi aside so that she landed roughly on the ground with a loud, high-pitched squeal. Without lowering his book, Seto reached down to grab his briefcase and continued onward towards his limousine. He grunted as he climbed in to the car, before turning towards one of his bodyguards. They stood nearby, looking relatively bewildered that the CEO had handled the situation without their help.

"Bill that girl for the time she wasted." Seto snorted before slamming the door shut.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow...," Sugi whimpered as she rubbed her sore wrist. Her hip hurt as well due to the fact that she landed on it, but the way Seto had twisted her wrist made her feel as if something may have gotten broken. As if to add insult to injury, when the limo drove away she got a face full of exhaust and caused her to cough.

"_Yuuuuugiiiiii...,_" Sugi whined once her coughing fit was over, her eyes filled with tears, clouding up her contact lenses. "That meanie-boo Seto beat me uuuuup!"

However, as Sugi looked around the school yard, there was no sign of Yugi or his friends anywhere. It took her a good five minutes of looking around once she had recovered from her scuffle with Seto to realize that they must have left.

The reason why Yugi disappeared suddenly became all too clear to Sugi.

"That _bitch!_"


End file.
